weddingsv make me drug and hornr
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
