So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
