Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
you inspire me to be a worse person
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
