This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
