how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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