I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize