So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Green mimosas i think yes
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
