And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
