Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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