you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
high people should be assigned attendants
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
