don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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