I think I died a long time ago.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
