The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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