When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize