sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
