I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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