Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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