They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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