Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
