he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
