Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
