There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
