My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
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I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
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You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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