Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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