But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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