I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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