I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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