i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
