508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
false alarm. still invincible.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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