Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
