i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
