Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
