I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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