Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
