He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
