i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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