So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Bring me that man meat
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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