Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
