Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
