he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
