i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
