Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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