he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
