I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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