Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize