I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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