I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I wish there were birth control emojis
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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