Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
