Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
