walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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