Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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