I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
