i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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