Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
