I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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