Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
