I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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