there was a trapeze. enough said
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
