she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
