4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
