We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Can i not drive my cunt home
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
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It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
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Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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