i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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