Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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