You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
