he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
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