She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he shaved USA in his pubs
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
