did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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